After reading the comments made regarding my paper and my own reflections I know I need to fix the following things:

1) Ensure my thesis is clear and evident.

2) Need to reference my thesis throughout

3) My Motivating Moves should be made clear throughout

4) Improve  my transitions from paragraph to paragraph

5) Analyze, Analyze, Analyze

6) Make my voice stronger and my stance more clear (this will also help if my motivating moves are made clear)

7) Make sure I stay on topic with the subheadings.

8) Improve my  use of Gaipa’s strategies, especially picking a fight.

9) Make sure my essay isn’t saturated with claims only.

10) Improve my own understanding of what my end goal is for this thesis.

11) Attempt to make and write a clear conclusion.